Saturday, January 31, 2009

four corners

dedicated to all of our troubled youths:

Four confining walls for my one broken soul
searching so desperately for something to make me whole
they say look inside and I will find the answers
but they dont hear my words and they dismiss my prayer

So why bother?

Why should I try and give it my all
when I know they'll let me fall
They're supposed to strengthen me but I feel so small
as if they dont enable my power at all

oh lord what will I do?
for every problem they have pill
do they even consider how I feel?
it makes me wonder how much is real

Whats going on?
I want to be better I want to be strong
but they just keep me here; it's been so long
I feel its's time for me to move on
so these four confining walls will be left behind at last

why struggle when they dont help at all
It is I who must face my past

BY : anonymous

Friday, January 16, 2009

sleepless nights

Lately I have trouble getting a good night sleep. Allot of things are running in my mind.Most of it is my job. I know being a nurse these days means that I am pretty well protected from the impact of the economic turmoil.

In reality im not. Indeed working as a traveller take a toll already. Being expensive , meaning the hospital is paying more to the agency yet less to us would mean that it is a sound decision by the management to get rid of us. I understand their point.

I am embracing this progress. When I close my eyes I understand that I dont belong to this workplace. I want to move on. Or not.

In my contemplation i am thinking this past year. Why do I want to leave?
Is it because of things that I wanted to forget?
Asking this questions made me ponder deeply......
Am I running from a past?
Am I trying to avoid people who hurt me?
Have I not stop hurting and maybe finding a new place will help me heal and start over?
Or is it because carreer wise it is a wise move to work in acute hospital so that when my contract ends I will be more marketable in this highly competitive environment?

Or is this a calling for altruism?


As I search down the road of possibilities, more and more questions I encountered.

Well whatever my decision will be, what is important is that a decision has been reach.....Time will tell if is right or wrong.

Its time.