Friday, January 16, 2009

sleepless nights

Lately I have trouble getting a good night sleep. Allot of things are running in my mind.Most of it is my job. I know being a nurse these days means that I am pretty well protected from the impact of the economic turmoil.

In reality im not. Indeed working as a traveller take a toll already. Being expensive , meaning the hospital is paying more to the agency yet less to us would mean that it is a sound decision by the management to get rid of us. I understand their point.

I am embracing this progress. When I close my eyes I understand that I dont belong to this workplace. I want to move on. Or not.

In my contemplation i am thinking this past year. Why do I want to leave?
Is it because of things that I wanted to forget?
Asking this questions made me ponder deeply......
Am I running from a past?
Am I trying to avoid people who hurt me?
Have I not stop hurting and maybe finding a new place will help me heal and start over?
Or is it because carreer wise it is a wise move to work in acute hospital so that when my contract ends I will be more marketable in this highly competitive environment?

Or is this a calling for altruism?


As I search down the road of possibilities, more and more questions I encountered.

Well whatever my decision will be, what is important is that a decision has been reach.....Time will tell if is right or wrong.

Its time.

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