chapter

..... nowadays i am saddened by the things that occured.
My housemates were I have learn to live and love are now leaving me.
Not because I did something but rather it is time for them to move on with thier life. Be a family.
I have no quams living with them. No complains for they are easy and considerate to live with......I am happy for them....
I am now again left to take a pause of my life. Where would I like to be?
i feel indiferent about it. Or maybe I should accept the fact that being alive and to embrace life is to realize that everything changes........
....well a chapter has been closed. And my stay with them was a happy ending of a chapter. ... Now I am writing a different chapter... new script, new cast , new theme...... I will see where and what will this chapter be about.....

Friend

I am wondering if it was a mistake to let you go
.....im still longing to be with you. I hate that I love you. May be it was for your good to have let you go. You are a wild horse that needs to be tamed. I am just not the one to do it. May be one day you will return or maybe you will not. To see you going through allot of troubles lately bothers me. Yet things sometimes are just out of my hands. Remember that I am always here for you. things may change yet I will still be here. Circumstances might have change your perceprion of me. I may not be that patient enough to understand you. Bare in mind that I have my limits too. Even though were not together, you tought me to express myself. I have no regrets of the words i said or things I did. I surrender everything to the force that made it possible for the two of us......still with love and care my thoughts are with you.

Count your blessings

Most of the time I am focused on my own pwersonal struggles.. Believing that I am perhaps the only person in the world to have this burden.... So focuses that I miss out to appreciate the good things in my life...Ill give one example to illustrate this. One piece of Blank sheet of plain paper with a dot in the center... What will you take notice first? .... Almost all of us will say" the paper has a dot" making it tarnished and useless.... But what about the rest of the paper? the clear part of it? NO.. people dont usually see the good side of the situation and that includes me. I tend to evaluate myself by taking undue notice on the problems that I have.. The things that is lacking.. I forgot to appreciate the other side of the coin.. the biggest part of the whole picture called life... May we appreciate the rest of the things in our life by taking notice of what we have....I am hopefull that me and the rest of us will learn to change our paradigm by taking heed of the blessings and considering troubles as a blessing in disguise... May the force be with us

Count your blessings

Grace

I screwed up again.... never learn the lessons of past relationships...
Seem too hard when you try to give it all but right from the start you know that the person cant be yours.... useless from the beginning. Yet I still did it anyway... hoping that someday that person will take notice of the things you have done... stupid!its lyk kissing the person while putting the blanket when one sleep......thinking that persons' need before yours...... I HAVE forgotten to place any article in this blogspot for I was so engrossed .....I am a passionate person... then one day I woke up realizing that all is just but a delusion.... Giving everything all the way..... for the one you love..... yet I am HUMAN being.... I still need to be loved back, to be cared for....... time to let go and move on... Its hard but thats the price I have to take....Hoping I have learn this this time....Will I be bitter and scared for the nxt relationship? NO... Im gonna still be passionate as ever be.....by gods grace I will still try my best to work things out......

"madness"

Last week i had an eye openning experience. ....I was frustrated about myself. for being good. Then I came to ask myself and god " since when does goodness became a weakness" People see my goodness as being weak. That other people usurp this opportunity for their own good......I lay frustrate of what happened. This is MADNESS...i say to myself.... asking the divine to clear my thoughts and allow his will to teach me....... Then as I traverse into my own time of reflection this dawned unto me....What I am goin though right now can be depicted through the symbol of the element water. It is ordinary..... the weakest and softest earth element....nothing especial unto it..... Yet look closely..... it is through water whereby great canyons were carved......it cause a permanent change to the surface....water does not seek being on high places.. it is its nature to seek being in low places where through time slowly but surely causing permanent change to the landscape.......Then I ask the divine to grant me this virtue...... its considered MADNESS in this part of the world where " survival of the fittest" reign. Well like water i rather seek the low places away from the limelight..... yet surely creating a permanent change in the landscape I am into right now.... Through our weakness we will realize that we are strong......I do not boast of what I can do for I know I am weak.. yet through the help of the divine .. I will endure and indeed being weak shows that in virtue you are strong......

Missing Frances

the previous weeks we have a visitor.. though I know her since we have been together for at least a month when I first arrived here in the US. She is a chinese lady , a nurse too who ventured her luck here in the US.. She is an ER nurse a seasoned One I say.... She was assigend in a big Hospital in Inglewood, LA but for the reason that " she cant communicate well in english" she was refused to be accepted..... So she came here in our place in costa mesa for her to be a volunter in our hospital... Volunter because she is not being paid.. all she has to do is to practice her english for about 3 weeks.... I mean I came to think that "volunter" as in without pay is also practiced here in the states... well i guess its an isolated case... our agency's practice only..... Or if she will not do it she will face deportation.What an insolent threat! anyways at first my household berks were a little bit apprehensive if we are to accept her or not... she will be an added expenditure to our strained budget.... yet we accepted her anyways with an open heart,.During the 3 weeks stay I realized how strong this lady is.... Strong in the sense that she have the faith! even if the circumstances were against her so to speak.... She work 12 hours a day for 5 days without pay and slept less than 5 hours for she stayed in our living room.... not a very private place to rest....I spend time talking and correcting her english... she manage to learn from it all. Finally she was interviewed in Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital... A huge hospital with 3 complex building.. She was finally accepted. when she left us , i cried for she has been like a sister to me.Forgive my teary eyes.Thats because I developed a bond with her .I corrected her and She in turn gave her advise without a thought whether I like it or not, though in a gentle way in matters were she has more experience... MAtters about life.... sure i miss her but I am happy and hopeful that she will have a great start in that hospital... I might even follow her there for my partime job, who knows?.. I m proud also of my housemates for they have showed total concern and hospitality to our guest. She is Chinese. She did not pay us for her rent, utilities and we even treated her when we dine out..... Even if were here in the US im happy that we are filipinos not by words but by our deeds.......Good luck frances